Kaleigh Walsh. 31 October 2019.
Pause or Rewind: which would you choose?
I wrote this essay as part of the college application process. Here is my answer at the time. It might be interesting to revisit this question again in the future.
Me sitting on the bench seat and working on the essay.
After the sun sets and my daily activities conclude, I melt into the cushioned bench seat at my kitchen table. I’ve been searching for this moment. Slowly, emotion takes over as my hands move across the keyboard and words fill the empty white space of the screen. I take my time and carefully formulate my thoughts, simultaneously respecting the fast approaching deadline. Music fills the space around me, soothing winds rustle the branches outside my window, and the sound of my neighbor’s car door slamming seems louder than usual. As I ponder this question, it becomes clear that I would select “pause”.
In the past forty-eight hours, I have volunteered at the local children's museum, attended two college classes, practiced with my high school volleyball team, put away the laundry, found a quiet moment to snuggle with my pet bunny, and strategically completed my homework. Despite my hectic schedule, I appreciate the smiles on the childrens’ faces as they create masterpieces out of cardboard and glue, the academic rigor of my dual-enrollment classes, and the volleyball chants that echo through my mind. With the ability to push pause, I would give each experience the undivided recognition it deserves.
At times, rewinding may be tempting. However, my accomplishments as well as missteps are what make me the confident person I am today. “Rewind” only provides opportunities to change or relive the past. Without owning my mistakes, I would never learn. Would I just keep rewinding until I receive a desired outcome? How would I know when to stop? I would prefer to pause and thoughtfully contemplate my next decision, moving me forward to find new learning experiences. In fact, I wouldn’t pause for very long, just long enough to mix a perfect glass of chocolate milk or bake my favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Even when arriving home to six hours of schoolwork with sticky, marker-covered hands or attending my evening college class a bit sweaty and sore from an intense volleyball practice, I wouldn’t change a thing. Although a pause is nice, I’m happy to get right back into my daily routine. I am genuinely grateful for this moment in my life. My world is complete with half-filled sketchbooks, custom Spotify playlists, soft sweatshirts, and newly-discovered anime shows. This is a time of kindness, adventure, and opportunity. These ideals guide me, as I unpause my day, and discover all that my future has to offer.